[1]Every parent and every church share a God-given assignment – to leave behind a legacy of Gospel-rooted believers who will carry the mission of Jesus long after we’re gone.
The primary role of a church’s kids ministry is to partner with parents in the spiritual formation of their kids. Yet in today’s parenting culture, two conflicting mindsets make this challenging:
- One says, “Leave it to the professionals.” Just as they would hire a coach or tutor, some parents assume spiritual growth happens when they drop their kids off at church with the pros.
- The other says, “Only I know what’s best for my child.” Influenced by online echo chambers and parenting influencers, some parents resist outside input – even from trusted mentors or seasoned parents.
Both extremes miss the partnership God designed between church and home. Scripture clearly teaches that parents are the primary disciplers (see Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Psalm 78:5-7), and the church’s role is to come alongside – equipping, encouraging, and celebrating spiritual leadership in the home. Here are three powerful ways to build that kind of partnership:
1. Create and celebrate opportunities for family engagement at home
Parents need regular reminders that they are the primary disciplers of their children. Some are new Christians who feel unequipped. Others were raised in strong Christian homes but assume it will all happen naturally. Both need tools to engage their kids intentionally at home in discipleship.
One simple tool we use is the Family Time Card, a weekly take-home resource that reinforces the Sunday lesson and gives parents an easy win. At our church, both the kids worship service, and the adult service teach from the same Bible passage. The Family Time Card includes:
- The Bible passage
- Three discussion questions
- A prayer prompt
- A memory verse
We hand out a kids version at pick-up and print the content on the back of our adult listening guides. And we don’t stop there – we celebrate it! When a child returns a signed card, we highlight them during kids worship. The old saying is true: you get what you celebrate. This simple, consistent rhythm reinforces that parents can disciple – and we’re here to help them do it.
Keep it simple. Keep it regular. Celebrate the effort. If it’s too complex or time-consuming, families won’t experience lasting fruit.
2. Recognize and celebrate family milestones
Every family celebrates natural or cultural milestones. Churches should use these moments to point to deeper spiritual significance and their role as the primary discipler.
A Milestone Pathway is one of the best ways to partner with parents. At our church, milestones include:
- Parent-Child Dedication (Newborn–Preschool)
- Kindergarten Bible Milestone (Kindergarten)
- Kids New Believers Class (Grades 3 – 5)
- Baptism (Grade 3 and above)
- How to Have “The Talk” (Grade 4)
- Transition to Middle School (Grade 6)
- Transition to High School (Grade 9)
- Senior Banquet (Grade 12)
Every milestone requires parental involvement – not just kid participation. What is unique about each one of these milestones is that a parent is required to attend the class or prepare for the celebration. These milestones are just as much about the parent as they are the kid. These aren’t just extra events or classes. They are intentional moments to equip and elevate parents in their spiritual leadership. They remind parents: You can do it, we can help!
3. Lead kids to a decision, not in the decision
There’s nothing more exciting than seeing a child come to faith in Christ. But if we truly believe that parents are the primary disciplers, we shouldn’t rob them of the chance to be the ones leading their child to Jesus.
Our job is to partner with parents, walk alongside kids, and teach the gospel clearly leading kids to the moment of decision. But when that moment comes, we immediately invite the parent in.
For some, they’ve prayed for and discipled their child faithfully for years. Don’t swoop in at the finish line and steal the moment. For others, they’re new believers who’ve never shared the Gospel before. What an incredible opportunity for them to experience that joy and lead their own child to repent and believe!
You may have to help them, support them and coach them, but that’s the point – you are partnering with parents.
Conclusion: Equip. Celebrate. Empower.
You won’t be in most of the kids’ lives 10 or 15 years from now – but their parents will be.
As a kids ministry leader or volunteer, your job isn’t to “seal the deal” or carry the full weight of discipleship. Your job is to partner with parents – equipping them with tools, celebrating their efforts and empowering them to lead their families spiritually.
So equip parents with tools they can use. Celebrate the small discipleship wins. Empower them to step into their God-given role. Because when parents lead and churches cheer them on, we’re not just doing ministry.
We’re building a legacy.