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FIRST-PERSON: Gay marriage’s ‘open secret’

DALLAS (BP)–Here’s a novel excuse for unfaithfulness in marriage: Joe Quirk, author of the relationship book, “It’s Not You, It’s Biology,” told San Francisco TV journalist Scott James that, “In 1900, the average lifespan for a U.S. citizen was 47. Now we’re living so much longer, ‘until death do us part’ is twice as challenging.”

Quirk argues that allowing more freedom within marriage could be a way to save a struggling institution. Since marriage is “in crisis” he says, “we need insight.” He continues, “If innovation in marriage is going to occur, it will be spearheaded by homosexual marriages.”

James included Quirk’s reasoning in an article he wrote for The New York Times in which he explains that, among same-sex couples, there’s an open secret the activists don’t discuss much. It’s the same idea Joy Behar, co-host of ABC’s “The View” blurted out on the air one day: “They,” she said, referring to homosexuals, “don’t take monogamy and infidelity the same way that the straight community does.”

She’s right. When homosexuals argue for marriage, as in the current battle to overturn California’s Proposition 8, they say they want what opposite-sex couples have. They simply want the right to participate in traditional marriage. They bristle when accused of trying to rewrite the rules of matrimony. But that is exactly what many of them are doing, not only by demanding that marriage laws be changed, but also through this open concept that characterizes the majority of “committed” same-sex relationships.

In his article, Scott James cites new research at San Francisco State University. The Gay Couples Study followed 556 male couples for three years and found that 50 percent have outside sexual liaisons with the full knowledge and consent of their partners. Colleen Hoff, the study’s principal investigator, explains that straight people call this “cheating” or having “affairs.” With homosexuals, she says, “it does not have such negative connotations.” The study found that these couples say they’re just as happy in their relationships as the other couples studied in which the partners are faithful to each other.

Defenders of traditional marriage cite a 1997 study published in the Journal of Sex Research in which the average older homosexual man reported having had between 101 and 500 lifetime sexual partners. These numbers sound outrageous. When Dr. Hoff’s Gay Couples Study is released in its entirety, we’ll see if her numbers approach these figures.

This study is groundbreaking and reveals that — in the words of The New York Times story — “monogamy is not a central feature” for so many homosexual couples. These admissions bolster the argument that there are many in the movement fighting for “gay marriage” who want to strip marriage of fidelity, its defining quality. If this paradigm prevails, “same-sex marriage” really could destroy marriage.
Penna Dexter is a conservative activist and frequent panelist on the “Point of View” syndicated radio program. Her weekly commentaries air on the Bott and Moody Radio Networks.

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