Editor’s Note: The following is an adapted excerpt from “Set Apart for More: The Transformative Power of Living Your Whole Life for a Holy God” released by B&H Publishing.
If I say you’ve been “set apart” – that you are made to stand out in some way – how does that sit with you?
I suspect it resonates deeply with some and makes others uneasy. If there’s one thing we are culturally indoctrinated to respect, it’s autonomy. Those of us who seek to stand out in seen ways are encouraged to “shoot our shot” and “chase our dreams.” Likewise, we tout the bravery of those preferring to be “set apart” as unseen, in quiet pursuit of what makes them happy, even if it’s niche. “To each his own,” we’re told, not realizing the burden that statement implies. From increasingly young ages, we are desperate to find what excites us, what we are good at, what garners the most praise, makes us special, what makes our life matter. And there are a million gurus on hand to help. They can set us apart in marketing, push us toward the right career path, increase our influence and profile online, help us be the best teachers, and speakers, or perhaps the most successful entrepreneur. Coaches and tutors begin working with our kids before their fine motor skills are fully developed, hoping to shape them into the ultimate athlete, artist, or musician. We can stand out inconspicuously, too. We can set out to be the best wife; the most selfless stay-at-home mom or the kindest neighbor.
What if we’ve gotten the metric all wrong? What if we’ve been “set apart” and made to stand out, yes, but less related to all the attributes and positions mentioned prior and more related to the attribute “holy”? Now what comes to your mind? That word likely feels foreign, or far off. High and mighty, maybe. Or dusty and outdated – even prudish. Or perhaps it carries a saintly connotation for you – a label you’d only bestow on the gold star, high-impact, professional Christians of yesteryear. You know, like Elisabeth Elliot. Or Billy Graham.
As women’s minister of a large church, I meet with, lead, serve, teach, disciple and love hundreds of women. And if that weren’t enough, my husband and I are in various stages of raising four little women of our own. And as I engage in these contexts, I have noticed the faces of people change as I share about this subject, their physical reactions betraying the emotional roller coaster they are experiencing. I suppose that makes sense, because these two sensations taken together can feel a little jarring, or like whiplash: “Oh fantastic! God made me to stand out in this world! How wonderfu…Wait—what? Did I just hear you right? I’m supposed to stand out as holy? I was on board until you basically told me the important detail that I’ll be standing apart by being either weird or so saintly that the idea of trying to achieve such a status feels exhausting before I even start trying! Either way, no thanks! Can you just tell me I’m supposed to stand apart as something else? Like beautiful? Or precious in God’s eyes? Or missional? Or responsible? Or something that feels less weird and more attainable?”
I give you my word, this is the reaction every time. In all my encounters with women I have never – not one time – heard a woman verbally identify herself as set apart by God’s true design: holiness.
That’s not to say I don’t know holy women. I do. However, the acknowledgment of holiness – the self-identification with this attribute that God has intentionally bestowed upon us – hasn’t made its way onto the landscape of Christian culture with same prominence as things like grace, faith, trust, love or – you guessed it – blessing. The innate desire so many of us possess to be set apart isn’t wrong, but it’s sorely misplaced.
We are not set apart to be self-absorbed, autonomous main characters on the stage of life, pursuing material blessings, earthly comfort, vain happiness, great fortune or fleeting fame. We are set apart for more; more satisfaction, more peace, more love, more freedom, more power, more impact, which is all found in a life of holiness. 2 Timothy 1:9 says, “He has saved us and called us to a holy life – not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.”
Yet, for some reason, we don’t see a life of holiness as desirable, or even within our grasp. And, isn’t that the problem? Living a life of holiness feels a step too far, abnormal even – which is why I wrote this book. Of all the various attributes we might deem “normal” in the Christian life, holy is often labeled weird or impossible. We are often more accepting of descriptors like “obedient,” “joyful,” “patient,” and “kind.” And, I think I know why. Those words appear to be within our grasp. Most of us can white-knuckle our way through those behaviors, if only for a short time. But holy? We have a hard time believing this descriptor, and rightfully so. Holiness isn’t ours to produce. It’s not something we can white-knuckle our way through. Holiness is something God unabashedly labels us, and something He desires to empower us to live out.
We have been set apart for more than the world has to offer and more than even our cultural version of Christianity has allowed for. We have been set apart as holy, and when we see this concept for what it truly is, we will never be the same. I pray you learn to identify some of the obstacles that keep you from experiencing personal holiness and learn to cultivate the disciplines that yield personal holiness. I pray you grow more comfortable ascribing holiness to yourself and others as you seek to live out the call of 1 Peter 1:15 which says, “But as the one who called you is holy, you also are to be holy in all your conduct” (CSB). Most importantly, I pray we all grow closer in relationship to the source and embodiment of all holiness, God, our triune Lord.
Tasha Calvert is the women’s minister at Prestonwood Church in Dallas, host of “Digging In,” a weekly podcast centered on Christian living and author of “Set Apart for More: The Transformative Power of Living Your Whole Life for a Holy God” from B&H Publishing Group.
Related posts:
FIRST-PERSON: Doctrinal fidelity without methodological conformity 
The Authority of the Bible Heaven—The Place of Eternal Reward 
Bible Study: Say yes to God 
Music’s content more important than source, leaders say 
Bible Study: How do we use spiritual gifts? 
FIRST-PERSON: History’s first Christmas gift Bible Study: Gifted for kingdom work
