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FIRST-PERSON: The ACLU, Moses & the Ten Commandments

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McMINNVILLE, Ore. (BP)–A naked Moses — that’s what may be missing from Judge Roy Moore’s Ten Commandments display!

Had the Alabama Supreme Court’s chief justice only had the idea to include a depiction of the Old Testament hero sans clothes, no matter how unbiblical, the memorial to the Decalogue might still be sitting in the state judicial building’s rotunda. Perhaps such a Moses could have been chiseled into the side of the monument, or maybe he could have been larger than life, holding the Tablets of the Law.

Either way, the American Civil Liberties Union would have been hard-pressed to file a suit demanding the removal of such a lewdly artistic work. It is simply not in the liberal organization’s nature.

The ACLU prides itself on insuring that pornography is unfettered throughout America — especially in libraries. Some of the vilest displays ever conceived in the depraved heart of man have been justified by the organization as “art.” The ACLU has even defended the North American Man/Boy Love Association against a civil lawsuit.

I know that an unbiblical carving of Moses au naturel holding the Ten Commandments might offend a few card-carrying ACLU types. Some would be furious over the thought of a perfectly good bare body being desecrated by, of all things, the inclusion of a religious document.

The ACLU still might have filed suit. It would, however, have been to cover the Ten Commandments, certainly not Moses. One of the ACLU’s greatest fears is that some innocent atheist might accidentally encounter the Ten Commandments and, horror of horrors, become a religious person. However, the organization has never shown an aversion for lewd, unbiblical public displays.

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Ultimately, however, it is doubtful that even the ACLU would dare challenge Moses au naturel, even if he was holding the commandments. Addressing the issue of freedom of speech on its website, the ACLU states, “The First Amendment exists precisely to protect the most offensive and controversial speech from government suppression.”

On second thought, if a naked Moses isn’t offensive and controversial enough to stave off a lawsuit by the ACLU, might a gay Moses do the trick?

I am not sure how one would depict such an unbiblical Moses. I suppose he could be posed with one hand on his hip; the opposite arm placed in an upright position sporting a limp wrist. No, that would be way too stereotypical. And besides, he couldn’t hold the commandments. It would probably be helpful to consult the stars from the hit show “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” for aesthetic assistance.

It might be easier to portray Moses as a transvestite. Some magenta nail polish, powder blue eye shadow and a pair of stylish pumps would be a good start. A well-coifed wig and a bright sun dress could complete the effect quite “tastefully.”

If nothing else, a naked, gay or transvestite Moses hoisting the Ten Commandments would have forced the ACLU to choose between its lust for open obscenity and its loathing for public depictions of Judeo-Christian symbols.

Judge Moore’s mistake was a moral and tasteful display of a document that, while germane to the foundation of Western law, is nonetheless religious. Moral, tasteful and religious — three things that when taken together render the ACLU absolutely apoplectic.

Obscenity — like beauty — is in the eye of the beholder. To the ACLU, pornography and perversion are desirable but a public display of the Ten Commandments is lewd, crude and socially unacceptable.
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Kelly Boggs’ column appears each Friday in Baptist Press. He is pastor of Valley Baptist Church in McMinnville, Ore.