[1]
Being a caregiver himself, Barney Self, a licensed family and marriage therapist and LeaderCare counselor for LifeWay Christian Resources, knows the causes and symptoms of a malady he calls "compassion fatigue."
Generally, it is caused when one has become so involved in providing care to others that they become emotionally and spiritually exhausted, he said.
"A caregiver is always at risk of compassion fatigue," he said. "For everybody who does caregiving, there is a threat of burning out. Our only protection is our willingness to be honest with ourselves about what our level of health is."
Self, who maintains a private counseling practice, said one way he handles potential burn-out is by refusing to counsel people on Fridays or weekends, unless it is a dire emergency.
"If I get a call on the help line and someone says they have a problem, but it can wait until Monday, then I usually don't call them until Monday. But if they don't give an option, I'll call back as soon as I can."
[2]Saying he also avoids movies, Self noted, "I can't get all wrapped up in the emotions of movies. I have to save my compassion for real situations."
Maintaining healthy friendships and keeping an open line of communication with his wife are other ways he seeks to avoid compassion fatigue.
"I maintain an open awareness with my wife on where I am. Self-awareness is really huge, especially for us weird therapist types."
While Self said he sometimes cries when he hears the pain of others, he acknowledges he can be no help to them if he is overwhelmed by their circumstances.
"You can't hear other people's pain without being affected by it. If you aren't affected, that's a true sign of compassion fatigue.
"But if I'm overwhelmed and distracted because of a loss in my own life, then I'm of no help to them. I need to take a break and deal with my own issues."
Symptoms of compassion fatigue, Self said, include:
Physical
• Fatigue
• Physical depletion/exhaustion
• Sleep difficulties
• Somatic problems (headaches, colds, ulcers)
Emotional
• Irritability
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Guilt
Behavioral
• Aggression
• Callousness
• Pessimism
• Defensiveness
Work-Related
• Quitting the job
• Absenteeism
• Poor work performance
• Tardiness
Interpersonal
• Perfunctory communication with others
• Inability to concentrate on relationships
• Withdrawal from others
• Dehumanizing others
Self challenges ministers to "do healthy things for themselves." He furnishes a list of depleters and replinishers:
Depleters
• Caffeine
• Processed sugar/white flour-based foods
• Eating for comfort
• Alcohol
• Pornography
• Isolation
• Avoidance
• Sexual affairs-internet or physical
• Eating on the run or alone
• Compulsive buying
• Gambling
• Lethargy
• Workaholism
• Distance from friends
• Nicotine
Replinishers
• Storytelling
• Hearing others' healing stories
• Music (appropriate types)
• Hearing stories outside the caregiving realm
• Meditation
• Guided imagery
• Massage
• Journaling
• Exercise
• Healthy diet
• Couple relationship time
• Positive Hobbies
• Spiritual growth-prayer/Bible study
• Accountability
• Connectedness with friends (koinonia)
Wounded Ministers Retreats
Wounded Ministers Retreats are designed to assist hurting and discouraged ministers and spouses experience hope and restoration. The retreats offer a safe and confidential environment in which participants are able to process personal and professional concerns.
In order to assist in this process, participants are offered large- and small-group experiences, as well as individual and couple counseling.
The retreats are sponsored by the LeaderCare ministry of LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention.
The final retreats in 2002 will be held at Ridgecrest: A LifeWay Conference Center, Nov. 11-15, and Acadian Baptist Center, Eunice, La., Sept. 16-20. Activities begin on Monday at 4 p.m. and conclude on Friday at 10 a.m.
Those interested in registering must complete an application. Once the application is reviewed, applicants will be notified. Each retreat is limited to ten couples. Spouses are required to attend unless there are extenuating circumstances. Single ministers are welcome to participate.
To request an application, contact the LeaderCare toll-free helpline at 1-888-789-1911 or e-mail [email protected]. For further questions regarding the retreats, contact Dallas E. Speight at (615) 251-2843 or [email protected].