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Like Sheep Without a Shepherd

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It's a confusing world. Have you looked around lately? Boys want to be girls, girls want to be boys, Michael Jackson and Madonna want to be both. Can you remember when picking a member of the opposite sex was not a multiple choice matter? Can you remember when women wore gloves and dentists didn't? Can you believe that you can get the same graduation present for both male and female earrings!

Teenagers are confused, and adults are just as confused. Most adults don't know what they want to do with their lives. Maybe that's why they're always asking kids, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" They're looking for ideas!

Where do you look for help? People look to churches, but even some of them are confused. I heard of a church the other day that, instead of a steeple topping its building, had a question mark. Maybe people go there and make a "confusion of faith."

People look to the psychiatric clinics. I once worked in them. I have a Ph.D. in Psychology, the "study of id by the odd." I left the psychiatric clinic because I couldn't tell the patients from the staff, except that the staff had keys. Well actually, they wanted me to leave. I think I became too direct. A patient said he was a loser, because his dad was an alcoholic. I said, "Why don't we look at this another way. Maybe your dad's an alcoholic because you're a loser." People won't pay money for that kind of advice.

I went from a psychiatric clinic to a Baptist church. People ask me if that was a big adjustment. I say, "No, not really. The staff still have the keys."

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People are so confused today they even call a psychic hotline. You've probably seen the ad: If you need help, call this number. Now, if the people with the hotline were really psychic, wouldn't they know you need help, and call you?

Some people look for help from the New Age Movement. Shirley MacLaine says she can help. She's the spokesperson for New Age. At a recent Hollywood banquet, Shirley won seven lifetime achievement awards. She has a seminar in which she says she cleanses the seven energy centers of the body for a price. It's like buying a $400 bottle of metaphysical Milk of Magnesia. She could be a spokesperson for London Fog!

All I hear about these days is the information highway and computers. The terms are confusing. My wife said she wanted software for Christmas, and I got her lingerie. My staff said I had a megabyte, so I went to the orthodontist. They say the information highway's going to change the whole world. I read where there'll be a computer in every home. That way the homes can be just as messed up as the offices are.

Even if I could speed down the information highway, where does it lead? Seems that being on the fast track just means that you get to the end quicker. Americans don't believe in going anywhere slowly, so we're going nowhere fast.

People are confused, not from lack of information, but lack of inspiration. They know what to do, they just don't have the power to do it. They would like to stay married to the same person, they just don't have the power to do it, and they're confused. They would like to stay off drugs, they just don't have the power to do it. And, we could go on and on.

Confusion, that's what I see. Confusion, like a sheep without a shepherd.

Now, where have I heard that before?