"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here in the grand ballroom of the Waldorf Astoria for the event everyone has been waiting for: the presentation banquet for 'Greatest Person of the Twentieth Century.' Tonight we'll know the winner of this coveted award."
"For the past twelve months every publication in the country has speculated on the winner of this award. After all, this century has produced so many great persons. How can just one be chosen? And who should it be?"
"They're all here. The greats of the Twentieth Century. Franklin D. Roosevelt is here, along with his cousin and fellow president, Theodore Roosevelt. There's Mother Teresa chatting with Billy Graham and Frank Sinatra."
"I see Albert Einstein. And across the table from him, Thomas Alva Edison.
"Babe Ruth is over there, flanked by Arnold Palmer and Ben Hogan."
"On opposite sides of the hall, we see General of the Army Douglas MacArthur and President Dwight D. Eisenhower. General John J. Pershing has just arrived, escorted by Jimmy and Roselynn Carter.
"Pope John is here, along with Pius X and John Paul II. Lech Walesa and Ronald Reagan are table-hopping with Michael Jordan. Harry Truman is enjoying a visit with Prime Minister Churchill.
"This meeting certainly would not be complete without Jonas Salk and Christian Barnaard. Nelson Mandela and Bishop Tutu are here, getting the autographs — would you believe it? — of John Wayne and Gary Cooper!"
"Over there, I spot Willie Mays and Martin Luther King. They're surrounded by Margaret Thatcher, Jacqueline Onassis, and Mahalia Jackson. Leontyne Price and Picasso have just this moment slipped in a side door."
"Quite an assortment of achievers to choose from. Any one of these would certainly qualify. However, there's no telling who will be chosen as 'Greatest Person of the Twentieth Century.' The fact that the decision will be made by none other than the Lord Jesus Christ Himself has guaranteed that no one can predict the winner. Las Vegas is refusing to take bets of any kind on anybody. Period."
"I think we're getting close to the moment of truth. Ed MacMahon and Dick Clark have about finished their foolishness and are about to announce the winner. They have the envelope … and the winner … Boy, you can hear a pin drop in this place …"
"Eddie … Who? Eddie Jacobsen. Eddie Jacobsen? Who is that?"
"Ladies and gentlemen, glancing down my lists of guests, I don't see such a name. Jesse Jackson … Jacob Javits … But no Eddie Jacobsen."
"The hall is buzzing. People are turning to each other and asking the same question.
Nobody knows who Jacobsen is. And yet he has just been named 'Greatest Person of the Twentieth Century.' What an interesting turn of events this is."
"So far no Eddie Jacobsen has come forth to claim his prize. The spotlight is roaming the banquet hall, but other than a few waiters, the aisles are empty. What to make of this is the question."
"The podium is rapping for quiet. Apparently, they're going to see if there is indeed an Eddie Jacobsen present. As you know, it could be the real name of some person who changed it in the time-honored tradition of celebrities everywhere."
"They're asking Eddie Jacobsen to come forward. Everybody is looking around to spot him. Other than a waiter or two, no one moves in the aisles."
"Wait a minute. There's someone approaching the dais."
"I'm not believing this. Folks, Eddie Jacobsen is indeed here in the hall. He has been present throughout the evening. We know now why his name was not listed in the printed program."
"It was just like the Lord Jesus to do this. Why we were surprised shows how ignorant we are of His ways."
"Hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen, while we present to you the Twentieth Century's outstanding person. His name is Edward P. Jacobsen. And he is a waiter."
Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant. Mark 10:43