Humanity, culture, and the world at large have always been changing and evolving. And the pace of change only seems to increase over time. Caught up in our ever-increasing rate of change is fatherhood. In terms of overall environment, we’ve witnessed the role of men change, as traditionally male-dominated careers diminish.
Challenges affecting men have been well documented. We’re aware of the percentage of men engaging pornography and the age at which that begins. Console gaming and online gambling represent a two-headed monster for extended adolescence and other less-than-favorable outcomes difficult to thwart or redirect.
The net effect of these variables is a reality that has built a bit of a barrier to fatherhood. This challenge is compounded when we consider a generational effect that we have yet to truly experience, at least on the larger scale.
Passages like Deuteronomy 6, Proverbs 22:6 and 13:24, Ephesians 6:4, and Hebrews 12:7-11 support the local church’s interest in developing men into godly fathers. While the story beats given above surprise no one, there are a few steps or practices for pastors to consider in this dynamic. Here are six suggestions for the church in preparing men for fatherhood.
1. Establish and foster community
Research varies, but the average American spends a little more than five hours a day on mobile devices—which doesn’t necessarily account for gaming and television. Because of this, men don’t just need community but also community-initiating prompts to prepare for fatherhood. Gen X and even Millennials still had community more hard-wired into their pre-fatherhood seasons. That isn’t as true today.
2. Provide intensive Bible study
Research shows one of the surest indicators of a growing, maturing disciple of Jesus is daily or regular engagement with the Bible. This likely isn’t a surprise to anyone reading this. However, ministry leaders should take a long, hard look at how they are facilitating this kind of engagement with men preparing for fatherhood.
This could include regular messaging from the platform and church communication about ways to engage Scripture, sponsored devotional enterprises rooted in sermon series or other relevant topics, seasonal reading plan kickoffs, and special invitations to new fathers and young men.
3. Teach relational and life skills
There’s a need in our communities for developing relational and life skills in men preparing for fatherhood. The truth is there has always been this need when it comes to men preparing for fatherhood, but this is even more true today.
In terms of how the church can roll something like this out and sustain it, I recommend implementing a mentor/mentee ministry. Frankly, I wrestle with the church instituting programs and activities not purely rooted in Bible study, biblical literacy, and growing in spiritual understanding.
So I understand if something like “life skills” strikes a bit of a dissonant chord. But where the culture at large is failing, the church is justified in stepping in.
4. Intentional one-on-one discipleship
In recent years I’ve become increasingly supportive of one-on-two, triad, and quad discipleship groups. In my own ministry I’ve set up what I call a Fight Club with four other men. And it was surprisingly easy to invite and get buy-in.
Yes, resourcing these groups can be a challenge, but that shouldn’t keep you from inviting leaders in your church to simply invite young men and future dads into an extended conversation. This kind of ministry only needs to be supported by the pastor and staff, albeit consistently, in order to launch and thrive.
5. Create relational channels
This is a little different from installments like intentional one-on-one mentorship, affinity groups, and intentional Bible studies for future fathers. This is about creating an environment for edifying, nourishing, and formative relationships to flourish.
At a minimum, I recommend using the ministries listed above as intentional starting points for these relational channels. But, again, encouragement and consistency from the Sunday morning platform in this way will go a long way in creating and sustaining these life-giving relational channels.
6. Reorient toward a biblical posture
The sum of most of these potential steps in preparing men to be fathers is reorientation from an ingrained cultural posture to an ingrained biblical posture.
It’s easy to pick on media and mobile technology (and it’s often warranted), but these elements of our hours and days and weeks aren’t going away. So we should focus on presenting the alternative and staying on this task. It’s the long play.
Through the prophet Jeremiah, God tells us to ask which way is good and choose the ancient path (Jeremiah 6:16)—that is, the tried and true path, the path that has proven itself to be trustworthy over the centuries. This is also the way to fatherhood.
This article originally appeared at research.lifeway.com.
