SBC Life Articles

Good Forgetters

As a man thumbed through the automotive section of the classifieds he saw an ad he couldn’t believe. “Almost new Jag, loaded, $200.” Thinking it was a misprint he called the number. Sure enough the almost brand new Jaguar was loaded and only had 300 miles on it. The woman verified the price and said the first one to her house gets the car. He got there as quickly as he could and was the first one there. He looked at the car in mint condition and thought there must be something wrong with it.

He asked, “Ma’am, is it really $200?” She paused and then said, “That might be too much. I’ll let you have it for $99.50.” He said, “I’ll take it but I’d feel guilty if I didn’t tell you it’s worth $50,000. Why would you sell it to me for only $99.50?” She said, “My husband ran away with his secretary last week. He just sent me a telegram from Hawaii telling me to sell the Jag and send him the money … and that is exactly what I’m going to do.”

Forgiveness is difficult because we want revenge.

A lady, who never married, took revenge with her all the way to the grave. She requested in her will that all the pallbearers at her funeral be female. When the attorney asked why, she said, “Men wouldn’t take me out when I was alive and I’m not going to let them take me out when I’m dead.”

Forgiveness is crucial to our happiness. This is especially true when the family members practice annoying habits..

A newlywed couple thought everything was wonderful, and it was – for a while. Soon, he realized he had married a door-slammer. She got out of the car and slammed the door. She went into a room and slammed the door. He tried to pretend it didn’t bother him, but it really started getting to him. Finally, after a rough day at work, he heard her slam the outside door, and then she slammed the den door, and then the kitchen door. He jumped up and shouted, “If you slam another door, I’ll scream until the blood runs out my ears!” She fell apart and burst into tears. Of course, he felt awful and apologized. They talked it over and got it all worked out.

Then she got up and went in to the bathroom — and slammed the door. Why? Because she was a door-slammer, it was her habit. He was going to have to forgive her over and over again.

It is Hollywood psychobabble to believe that “love is never having to say you’re sorry.” Love is not only saying it, but also admitting that we are all sorry.

A man told me about his wife who he believed had never changed the toilet tissue roll since they had been married. He got so mad that he started writing the date and time on every cardboard cylinder he changed. One day he had had enough and in his frustration he went to the closet and grabbed two large plastic bags full of cardboard cylinders with the date and time on each one. As he was dumping the cardboard cylinders all over the room he declared, “I have proof! I have proof you have never changed the toilet tissue roll!”

She looked at the cylinders all over the room and said, “You’re sick!”

“I’ll show you who’s sick,” He said. “We’re going to see the psychiatrist!”

He made an appointment, and they went, with him carrying the two plastic bags full of cardboard cylinders. The psychiatrist asked, “What seems to be the problem?” The man said, “The problem is, my wife has never changed the toilet tissue roll and I have proof.”

He started dumping the cardboard cylinders all over the psychiatrist’s desk and the psychiatrist looked at him and said, “You’re sick!”

We are all sick and defective and our Maker has recalled every one of us. No one will measure up to your expectations — even you don’t measure up to your own expectations. So forgive yourself and forgive others for not being perfect. Be more like children.

I heard about a little boy who was mad at his best friend, Andrew. They got into a fight and he told his mother, “I hate Andrew, I never want to see him again — and I hope his dog dies!” The next day he was going out to play and his mother said, “Where are you going?” He said, “I’m going to play with Andrew.” She said, “I thought you never wanted to see him again and hoped his dog died.” He said, “Yeah, I said that about Andrew, but me and Andrew are good forgetters.”

So chill out! Let’s be good forgetters and what you can’t forget, forgive. We all carry around our plastic bags full of something, waiting to dump it on one who has wronged us. You need to realize that carrying it around does more damage to you than it will do to the person you dump it on. The only way to be laid back is to give up on the payback and that will keep you on the right track.

    About the Author

  • Charles Lowery