The team was in the middle of a terrible losing streak, the manager called a meeting and said, "There will be two buses leaving the hotel for the ballpark tomorrow. The two o'clock bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will be leaving at five o'clock." In other words, they all needed a little extra work. That's the way it is with men, too. We need to put in some extra effort, especially on Valentine's Day.
It is not hard to find evidence that men have some shortcomings. Recently, without even trying very hard, I found three telling examples from the news. The first example was about a basketball coach who admitted to being "a little bit too focused." He said when his young son was three, he took him to the barbershop with him so they could both get a haircut. While the coach was getting his haircut he started focusing on a ball game that was on TV and he continued to think about it as he went home. Two hours later, his wife came home and asked, "Where's Jeff?" Just then the barbershop called to say, "You know, Jeff's read all the comic books that are here and we're about to close. What should we do with him?" The coach realized he had totally forgotten his son and left him at the barbershop.
Then there was the 78-year-old man in Key West, Florida, who thought his roommate was just being stubborn in refusing to answer him. Tunis out, the roommate had been dead for two months.
Then another example is little Matthew Murray's ride of his life. His daddy took the baby and put him in the car seat, then he put the car seat on top of the car and forgot about it. The father took off and at fifty miles an hour, he saw a diaper go up in the air, then he saw the car seat go up in the air and then he saw Matthew Murray fly through the air. Fortunately, the baby landed right side up in the median and by the time his dad got to him, Matthew was smiling. Needless to say, God puts extra angels on duty when men are taking care of children. I heard about a guy who was babysitting twins. He fed the same one over and over and nearly starved his twin brother.
That's what men do. They focus on what they are doing and forget everything around them, especially their relationships. When men my age were growing up, our hero was John Wayne. He only said two words — "Yep" and "Nope." That's all he said, and if talking didn't take care of the problem, then he would fight 'em or shoot 'em. That was our hero and we follow his trail. Like the man who told his buddy, "I had words with my wife, she had paragraphs with me."
Most men want to be real close to a woman who will leave them alone. But a woman's heart is like a campfire. If you don't tend to it regularly you'll soon lose it. It is a constant battle of balance. For example, women want romance. Romance is the opposite of practical. Women think roses. Men think, "Why would I invest in something that will be dead in four days?" It's not the flowers women love, it's the feelings they love when they receive flowers from someone they love. The flowers will die but the feelings of love will live on, and, men, that is worth your investment.
The Valentine's Day concept is basically difficult, if not impossible, for men to grasp. I was speaking at a Valentine's Banquet. The women of the church had gone to a lot of trouble to create the right atmosphere. They decorated the gym and renamed it the "Love Cafe." It was romantic with music and candlelight. I listened to the comments from the men at the tables. They were saying things like, "I can't see my peas."" It's so dark in here, I don't know what I'm eating."
A Midwestern farmer put an advertisement in a farm journal. "Wanted: healthy, wholesome wife to work on farm. Must have tractor. PS: Send picture of tractor." That's a guy — practical through and through. No wonder one lady said her husband had all the characteristics of a dog, except loyalty.
Guys, we have to think differently "Royal Dining" is not eating at Daily Queen or Burger King. She doesn't want a new set of tires for her birthday.
Let me give you some hints: — assurance instead of answers; — sympathy instead of a solution; — perfume instead of a kitchen appliance.
For the guy who said, "I don't know what to get her for Valentine's this year — she hasn't used the floor sander I got her last year," look for a two o'clock bus.
Believe me, you need the work.
