Foster care – it’s something we think we may know about, but oftentimes feel confused or overwhelmed by. With 400,000 children in the foster care system of the United States, you are likely in contact with someone who has been affected by this unfortunate circumstance. When children enter into the foster care system, there are many unknowns. The hope and goal of foster care is reunification whenever possible in order to preserve the family. However, due to the varying situations families face, each foster care situation will vary greatly.
Have you ever gone on vacation and loved every minute of it, but also genuinely desired to come home and sleep in your own bed? A vacation is a trip you choose, yet we all know we have to go back to reality at some point. Now imagine you are a child and you are separated from your parents. Only instead of going on a lovely vacation with an expected end date, you have no idea if or when you will reunify with your caregivers. And worse yet, you are expected to learn the norms and routines of a different family – oftentimes those who are complete strangers.
When children are in foster care, they need everything a “normal” child needs, just in extra portions. It can be overwhelming to consider how to help children in foster care feel seen, known, and loved, but chances are, you have a way to do this with the gifts and passions you already possess.
Here are three ways to teach kids God loves them when they’re far from home.
- Spend time getting to know them and investing in them as an individual.
Kids in care have likes, dislikes and passions. They may not have had the opportunity to express themselves or even know who they truly are inside, but they are unique individuals created in the image of God. Spending time with a child helps them begin to have a sense of self-worth in which they can find comfort and peace. They can see themselves as more than “a foster kid” when given a chance to blossom and grow. For instance, a local college student who was a photographer spent time with our daughter and helped her learn how to use a camera, teaching her the basics of digital photography. What skill do you have that you could teach a child in care? Or how can you use your time to help them know they are special and loved?
- Be sensitive in your speech.
It can be easy to make general statements about families when you’re leading children, such as “When you get home, make sure you ask your mom about this.” or “What does your dad do for work?” However, if you are interacting with a child in foster care, the words “mom” and “dad” can be tricky, layered and complicated. Instead of saying “mom” or “dad” when addressing a group of children, try saying, “When you get home, make sure you ask your grownup/caregiver about this.” Children in care can have a hard time figuring out just what to call their foster parents, and they can feel pressured or frustrated to choose sides, often feeling guilty if they like their foster parents. Simplifying your speech can go a long way in ensuring that kids in care feel included when you’re discussing the family.
- Tell kids the Good News of Jesus over and over and over again.
Romans 10:13-15 says,
“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”
One thing to keep in mind is that children in care may or may not have been exposed to the Gospel. You can ask questions like, “What do you know about Jesus?” or “Have you ever gone to church?” or simply say, “Tell me what you know about God.” All of these can open the door to meaningful conversations. The beautiful thing about each one of our children in care who lived with our family is that we were not the first people who loved Jesus who were a part of their lives. Whether you are aware of the details or not, God is working in the life of that child. If you are in their life as a believer and follower of Jesus, they now have access to the Gospel of Jesus Christ through you! Sharing the truth of God’s love with a child in care gives them hope beyond their circumstances that will carry them for the rest of their life.
Loving children in foster care need not be overwhelming nor complicated. Loving children in care is simply walking alongside someone who needs the hope of Christ, one step at a time.
Jessica Mathisen is a former elementary school teacher and a foster, adoptive and biological mother. She is online at jessicanmathisen.com.
