I’ve heard every excuse imaginable from other pastors about why they can’t commit to a formal discipleship group.
Since no pastor can afford to coast spiritually or relationally, rarely will one push back on the importance of discipleship. On the contrary, they’ll preach enthusiastically about making disciples. Is there a disconnect between your convictions about discipleship and your personal practice of it?
Discipleship is much easier to preach than it is to practice. Often, pastors are more eager to make disciples than to be discipled. One of my mentors, Dr. Dan Garland wisely notes, “To make disciples, we must first be a disciple.”
Satan’s favorite scheme
Janet and I have been vulnerable to spiritual drift and isolation, especially after a transition to a new ministry. Whether I was preaching to pastors about the need for discipleship, or preaching to my own congregation, I haven’t always practiced what I’m preaching to you right now. But my call to lead others is intrinsically connected to how I lead myself and my family. Soul care is strategic, not selfish (1 Timothy 4:16).
Isolation is one of Satan’s favorite schemes for ministry couples. He’s a master at using misdirection by surrounding us with people even as we isolate ourselves from them.
Who’s discipling you?
Be careful not to confuse preaching about discipleship with practicing it. Equipping and discipling are not mutually exclusive, but neither are they synonymous. Although pastors need to be prepared for the work of ministry, we also need help walking closely and consistently with Jesus. Here are two time-tested ways disciple-makers can be discipled.
1. Mentors
Life-on-life discipleship is the gold standard of biblical discipleship. The primary differences between mentoring and coaching are proximity and accountability.
Flee from youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.2 Timothy 2:22, CSB
Who’s helping you grow right now? Pastors who aren’t growing well aren’t leading well.
Blogs, videos, podcasts, and online resources can prepare you and an army of workers to serve, but can they create a genuine community of disciples? Pastors need real-life relationships, involving real-time conversations. Leaders who want to keep growing need to be a part of an intentional, disciple-making community.
Pastors who have mentors demonstrate a rare humility. It doesn’t matter if you call it mentoring, coaching, or discipling—you must never stop learning from those who’ve been where you want to go.
The term mentor comes from Greek mythology. Before going away to fight the Trojan War, Odysseus sought to find a man who would care for his son Telemachus. Odysseus wanted a man to raise his son as he would if he were there. He found a man who did that—a man named Mentor.
Mentoring is the established norm in Scripture. Moses mentored Joshua to fill his sandals; Elijah mentored Elisha through the paces of a prophet; Paul mentored Timothy, Titus, and countless others; Barnabas mentored Paul, John Mark, and Titus.
Who have you asked to disciple or mentor you? This ball will always be in your court, so find someone about 10 years older than you who can help your love for Jesus grow.
I have two mentors and five mentees in my life fanning my spiritual flame. I’ve been discipled from good preaching and teaching, but mentoring is where I can attribute most of my personal spiritual growth.
Discipleship at its best is life-on-life spiritual replication. Who’s regularly checking on the condition of your soul these days?
2. Groups
The process of finding a discipleship group has never been easy for Janet and me. For the first three decades of marriage I preached two to three services each Sunday, making small groups difficult. It didn’t get easier 10 years ago when I transitioned from being a lead pastor to preaching 30 events a year in various parts of the country.
Just because consistent small group attendance is a challenge doesn’t excuse us from connecting to one. Discipleship is rarely easy, sometimes messy, yet never negotiable—even for pastors and their wives. Disciple-making pastors need to practice discipleship by connecting with a discipleship group, regardless of when or where it meets.
Stop making excuses and make discipleship a priority. Although discipleship is never easy, you’ll always need other people to help you grow.
According to Lifeway’s Greatest Needs of Pastors Study, younger pastors (under 44) are more likely than their older peers to say they need to invest better in intentional friendships (79%), including with other pastors (73%). They’re also among the most likely to admit they need to focus more consistently on Bible reading (75%) as well as confessing and repenting of personal sin (69%).
I believe pastors need real life relationships, involving real time conversations. Leaders who want to keep growing need to be a part of an intentional, disciple-making community.
For I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.Philemon 1:7, CSB
Although our own discipleship journey has often been messy, the groups and people we’ve purposefully shared our lives with have discipled us for almost four decades of ministry and marriage.
This article was originally published at Lifeway Research.
