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FIRST-PERSON: Instructions for obstructions

SPRINGFIELD, Tenn. (BP)–I have taken CPR classes on two occasions. After each one I was certified to save people for 12 months, especially if they looked like a department store mannequin, had a plastic hose sticking out of their chest, clear plastic wrap over their mouth and a permanent smile.

In layman’s terms, it simply meant that I was qualified to jump on top of someone, pinch their nostrils, blow into their mouth and beat their chest.

What’s really scary about this whole CPR thing is that it can be used on pets. Don’t get me wrong. I love my dogs but the mental picture of me putting my mouth on one of them is wrong on so many levels.

One of my Chihuahuas, Molly, is 11 years old. Her breath always smells like she just ate a walrus. I don’t want to pinch her nostrils and blow into her mouth. She’d bite me.

Tiny, our emergency Chihuahua, is even smaller. If I blew into her mouth, she’d blow up.

And what’s this business about giving them the Heimlich maneuver if they are choking? There’s another picture I don’t want the neighbors to see, me squeezing a Chihuahua. If I squeezed Tiny like that, without a firm hold, she’d shoot across the room.

We probably don’t have many occasions to give CPR to people in trouble but we more than likely see people every day who need a jump start on their spiritual heart. We may see them simply by looking in the mirror. It is amazing what a breath of fresh air can do for the stale and stagnant heart in getting rid of obstructions. Know anyone who is choking on the food offered by the world when all they need is to taste the Bread of Life?

What they need is CPR -– “Christ-Promised Refuge:” “Come unto me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 NIV); “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me” (John 7:37, NRSV); “I have come that they may have life and might have it abundantly” (John 10:10 NAS).

All are promising words from Jesus about rest, refuge and resuscitation. We need to share them with others. When we do share, we can’t ignore the “Chihuahuas” in life, those who may appear to be the most disgusting. We can’t be choosy. Are you trained in CPR? If you are a Christian, you are -– and the world is your classroom.
Martin Babb is associate pastor/education at Springfield (Tenn.) Baptist Church and author of a new humor book, “When Did Caesar Become a Salad and Jeremiah a Bullfrog?” from Howard Publishing.

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  • Martin Babb