Editor’s note: Sunday, Nov. 12 is Orphans and Widows Sunday in the Southern Baptist Convention
JACKSONVILLE, N.C. (BP) – Every day is a victory for Tirrell. With John and Erin Stuebe, his Baptist Children’s Homes foster and soon-to-be adoptive parents surrounding him with love and support, the 14-year-old is thriving in ways that would have been impossible earlier in his young life. Few could ever look past Tirrell’s bright smile today and perceive the darkness that shrouded his childhood.
“Tirrell’s past basically has been defined by neglect,” said Erin Stuebe, her voice solemn. She and her husband John live in Jacksonville, N.C., where Tirrell grew up. It is in this same community where the boy, for a decade of his life, was kept isolated within the bedroom of his childhood home. His family members rarely took him outside. He was not allowed to go to school. They fed him rice for every meal. Not even the people who lived near him knew what the child was enduring.
Tirrell’s entire world could be measured within the space between his bedroom walls. “The only toys we know about were a set of blocks,” John said, his voice swelling with emotion. “He had nothing.”
This continued for years until one day Tirrell began to develop sores on his legs and feet. The condition became so extreme that a family member in the home had him admitted to the hospital. It took doctors several days, with the help of wound care specialists, to successfully treat him.
When he was ready to be discharged, his family could not be found. A staff member at the hospital called his family to let them know he was well enough to return home. Their response: “We don’t want him.”
The hospital contacted the Department of Social Services (DSS) who removed Tirrell from the family’s custody and placed him in the foster care system. Because he was so far behind socially and academically, DSS found it challenging to identify a home that could meet Tirrell’s needs.
Baptist Children’s Homes of North Carolina (BCH) foster care supervisor Jessie Chilson felt the weight of that challenge when she first became aware of Tirrell’s case.
Feeling like she could not find him an appropriate family, Jessie passed over his file on two different occasions. The third time, however, the Stuebes came to Jessie’s mind because of Erin’s previous experience as a teacher. The couple were already actively fostering through BCH.
“I don’t think we could do this without Baptist Children’s Home,” John said. “The support we get is unbelievable.”
When Jessie called them about Tirrell and shared the traumatic details of his childhood, the couple’s hearts were moved.
“We learned that when Tirrell’s family members were asked why they didn’t send him to school, they said it was because he wasn’t worth the gas money to take him,” Erin said. “As a previous teacher, I just really wanted to see Tirrell grow up and have an opportunity at life.”
That opportunity began when Jessie drove Tirrell to the Stuebes’ home.
“I’ll never forget when that car door opened,” John recalled. “He got out and gave us hugs. His feet were wrapped up because he had wounds, and they gave him a walker. He walked into our front door, put his walker down, and never used it again.
“When he walked in this house, there was no looking back – he owned it. He just walked in and became part of the house.”
Chilson said the Stuebes were just as excited as Tirrell.
“God had prepared them for such a time as this, and they embraced what He was doing head on,” she said.
This included doing whatever it took to help the boy who had never attended school begin to learn and grow academically. It also meant teaching him many of life’s basic fundamentals.
“When he first came, his verbal skills were lacking,” Erin said. “He mostly pointed and said only a word or two. In every aspect of his life, we’ve had to train him. He didn’t know emotions when he arrived.”
John and Erin both worked jobs but were able to tutor Tirrell with the help of John’s mother. Erin finished out her responsibilities to her employer and left her career to homeschool Tirrell. He recently completed his second grade studies and is working on third grade.
One of the greatest joys for the family has been making memories. Tirrell already has several photo albums filled with snapshots of the many “firsts” he has experienced with the Stuebes: first fish caught, first bicycle ride, even his first birthday party.
“Foster parents struggle with not getting to experience the earlier stages of life with their children,” John said. “We’re getting to experience all of that, and it’s awesome.”
The most significant first Tirrell has experienced is hearing the Gospel. Through the discipling of the Stuebes and the family’s involvement in church, Tirrell has been learning about the hope of Jesus while also memorizing scripture.
On June 16, Tirrell asked Christ to be his Savior.
“Tirrell’s excited about life,” John said. “The other day, he came up to my wife and said, ‘I feel like I have my life now.’”
