Most of what I do is Sunday Relationship Conferences (which, by the way, hasn't been happening very much recently; the economy has resulted in my calendar having more holes than Swiss cheese). One message in the conference is "I Am Woman Hear Me Roar, I Am Man Tell Me More." One church changed it to "I Am Woman Hear Me Roar, I Am Man Watch Me Snore." I guess that's why another message title is "Helping the Handicapped — Men." Men need help in their relationship and communication skills. Couple that with the fact that many women think that if they can just find the right man, they'll live happily-ever-after. So the result is many become frustrated and desperate housewives. Our society doesn't help the problem — we just produce a TV show about it.
Most women are disappointed to discover that the goo of the romance will not be the glue of their marriage. Unfortunately, many women turn to the wrong people for advice. One lady consulted a fortuneteller who advised her to prepare for her husband's violent death. The wife sighed deeply and asked if she would be acquitted.
Most women are good at using words, so they try to change their husbands with words. This means even a well-intentioned woman can become a nag. Men spend most of their lives searching for the approval and admiration of a woman. If you don't believe me, have an attractive woman ask a man to pick up a heavy box for her. Men strain their backs trying to pick up boxes so women can tell them how strong and wonderful they are.
Ladies, I know what you're thinking. If I tell my husband he's wonderful, who's going to make him pay or obey. I would remind you of an interesting story in Genesis about a trip that Abraham and Sarah took. Abraham schemed to make himself look good, but it caused a lot of trouble. On another trip, Abraham repeated his performance! Can you believe it? Of course you can. Women, don't ever forget that most men are incredibly stupid when it comes to women.
Why? Because he grew up as a man. He will do the same dumb things over and over. He doesn't understand why you cried watching Titanic. The only thing worth crying about was the expensive necklace she threw into the ocean. I once counseled a lady who had an "A-HA!" experience. She had realized that she divorced her husband because he was a man. Unfortunately, the Bible tells us that Abraham's son also lied about his wife. Not only can men be stupid with women, but also we can pass our stupidity down to our sons. They will treat their wives the same way we treat their mothers. They say that girls marry men like their fathers … and that's why mothers cry at weddings. So, what is the answer for a woman?
Jesus met a lady who had been married five times and was living with a man. He told her — and He may be saying to you — that no mere human can meet your deepest needs. You will thirst again tomorrow if you are counting on a person because ultimately people will let you down. Jesus offered her Living Water. He offered her Perfect Love. Fear chains you, and you're unable to risk loving another person; but faith changes you, so you can love. Great marriages are created the same way salvation is-by faith. Faith allows you to focus on God's promises, not the other person's performance.
In The Whisper Test, Mary Ann Bird writes:
I grew up knowing I was different and I hated it. I was born with a cleft palate and when I started school, my classmates made it clear to me how I looked to others: a little girl with a misshapen lip, crooked nose, lopsided teeth and garbled speech.
When schoolmates asked, "What happened to your lip?" I'd tell them I'd fallen and cut it on a piece of glass. Somehow it seemed more acceptable to have suffered an accident than to have been born different. I was convinced that no one outside my family could love me. There was, however, a teacher in the second grade whom we all adored — Mrs. Leonard by name. She was short, round, happy — a sparking lady.
Annually we had a hearing test … Mrs. Leonard gave the test to everyone in the class, and finally it was my turn. I knew from past years that we stood against the door and covered one ear, the teacher sitting at her desk would whisper something, and we would have to repeat it back — things like, "The sky is blue." or "Do you have new shoes?" I waited there for those words. God must have put into her mouth, those seven words that changed my life, Mrs. Leonard said, in her whisper: "I wish you were my little girl."
Now, that teacher knew how to use words.
But also, women, when you understand that you are God's little girl, you have the confidence it takes to have an incredibly positive influence in the life of a man.
A governor and his entourage were walking by a construction site. His wife was with him and one of the construction workers said hello to his wife. He was an old flame that she had dated twenty-five years before she met her husband. As they walked off, her husband said, "Aren't you glad that you didn't marry that guy because you would be a construction worker's wife? You married me and now you are the governor's wife." She said, "No, you see if I had married him, he would have been the governor."
You are God's little girl, and He has given you the honor of being a woman. This Father's Day remember that you have the opportunity to use the incredible influence of a woman.