SBC Life Articles

The Greatest Fear

This article is different from my normal format. I am enclosing my daughter's recent Facebook posting — her oldest son, Drew, had been seriously injured playing football. It was the first time she had been in an ambulance since her younger son, Jake, died.

There are two lessons here. First, I know some of you pastors wonder about your kids and the effects from the stress of being a PK. Kasey is my middle daughter and she went through her time of rebellion. There were times when I took her car away, cancelled her insurance, and put our house on lockdown. Some days, I didn't think we would make it. My friend Michael Catt's favorite church story is about Kasey. When Kasey was three, she told the church day care workers that if they didn't get under the table and play with her she would have her daddy fire them. I think by reading this you will realize that her strong will has given over to His will. The pain of rebellion has turned into the pleasure of obedience.

The second lesson comes straight from Kasey:

First of all, I want to thank each of you for your prayers and support. We are so thankful for friends and family who have stood by and supported us through this scary time. I am overwhelmed with gratefulness that Drew is ok. I can't tell you how scared I was. The MRI and the CT scan are clear. He walked away with a concussion and no lasting damage. The doctor explained it like this: "Think of how you feel when you hit your funny bone and that numbing sensation that follows. Your spine responds in the same way. A blow to the spine renders that same sensation and the numbness on the right side of his body and arm is the result." Drew needs to rest and is restricted from sports for three months, much to his dismay and my relief!

Most of you know that this is not the first time I have looked over one of my sons and watched his eyes roll back and wondered if this was the end for him. It is that feeling we all dread, when your heart goes into your stomach. You are praying and telling God "NO" at the same time. While in the ambulance, they pricked Drew with a needle and he was not responding at all. I just kept telling the Lord, "I can't do this again. I can't Lord. Please don't make me." For those of you who don't know about the death of our younger son you can go to www.theewingfam.com.

Walking through this last couple of days, I have learned a few things! First, God gives us the grace we need, when we need it. He doesn't supply grace for what we fear might happen — He gives it to us when it does happen. I have experienced my greatest fear and the grace I needed. I can now say my fears did not come true and I am very thankful. This has taught me to be careful with fear (while valid), and not be overwhelmed. Why? God's grace comes when we need it.

I have also learned that He can be trusted. His ways are not our ways, but His ways are the RIGHT ways, even in the midst of death and just plain scary situations. I was scared, but I was also calm knowing that in all things His plan would not be changed. God's Will be done. There is great comfort in that.

I am also learning that what God walks us through will always be used for His glory. Drew's coach sent me an email. He told me that my calmness and faith as I hung over Drew and begged him to stay with me touched him. He had no idea that I had been down this road before. That scene drew him to our website where he learned about Jake's tragic death. He then shared our story with his family. God uses everything to reveal Himself to His people. I am memorizing Job 42:5-6, My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore, I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes (NIV).

Before Jake died, I had heard lots of things about Jesus. LOTS. I knew Him and loved Him. But Jake's death allowed me to SEE Jesus for who He is. I learned to love Him and to trust Him each step of the way. Sometimes, that was a minute-by-minute thing. The pain was so excruciating that I had to trust Him, there is no other way. There were other paths but that wasn't an option for me. They only bring more hurt rather than letting Him heal the hurt. However, the more we see Jesus the more we see ourselves and know that there is none righteous, not one. The closer I am to Jesus the more I see how I need to repent. Many days I take my family and my kids for granted; many days I don't love them with the love Jesus gives to me. Many days I think of my needs before theirs. The list goes on … those are just the public sins!

Most importantly, as the old quote goes, "God cares more about our character than our comfort." His goal is to make us more Christ-like and often that takes suffering. Suffering brings us to the end of ourselves and we are willing to trust and lean on Him. Eternity is at stake for most of the world, and often our lives are the only thing the world can see that demonstrates who He is. How is your life? I am taking a long, hard look at what I need to change. Those scary times show what is important, really important. Beth Moore's Esther study says, "The world doesn't care about our relationship with Christ … it cares about our resemblance to Christ."

Knowing Jesus is the most important decision you will ever make. If you don't know Him, please talk to someone who does. Let them share with you who HE is! He is worth knowing! Kasey Lowery Ewing

Amen! I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day.

    About the Author

  • Charles Lowery