It’s the end of the school year, and the student ministry is hosting a graduation party. The scene feels familiar, but the conversation doesn’t.
As the pastor congratulates seniors, he overhears one say, “Even though I’m moving away for college, at least my AI girlfriend will never leave my side.”
The pastor pauses. He knew students used AI for homework, schedules, and social media. But he didn’t know AI dating had entered the conversation. He certainly didn’t expect a student who grew up in the church to describe an AI companion as a relationship.
How did we get here? Did the church fail to address what real relationships are and are not? Have we assumed young adults know the difference between digital attention and biblical love? And how does a person even “date” AI?
Pastors and church leaders, we need to be among the first, not the last, to address AI in the lives of young adults. AI is already making disciples – but not biblical disciples.
Young adults use it to answer questions, process emotions, write papers, shape conversations, explore dating and experience companionship. AI can be a helpful tool, but it cannot be a friend, spouse, shepherd, savior, or maker of fully formed, biblical disciples.
Churches need to help young adults use AI with biblical wisdom before they are formed by a tool instead of conformed to Christ.
AI is a tool, not an image bearer
Artificial intelligence is commonly defined as a machine-based system that can make predictions, recommendations or decisions for objectives defined by humans. That gives pastors and church leaders a helpful starting point. AI is not a person. It’s a tool.
Lifeway Research reports pastors and churchgoers are not completely opposed to AI, but they have concerns about its implementation and influence on Christianity.
People are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). AI is made by people. It can sound human, but it cannot be human. AI can summarize, predict, recommend, generate, imitate and organize. It can assist with work, study, planning, brainstorming and communication.
But AI cannot bear God’s image. Tools can assist, but only people image God (Psalm 139:13-16).
This distinction matters. AI can serve young adults well when it helps them steward time, organize ideas, ask better questions, and communicate clearly.
But AI is misused when it replaces honesty, avoids responsibility, feeds fantasy, deepens isolation or receives spiritual authority it was never designed to carry.
Relational discipleship cannot be outsourced
Discipleship is formation, not just information (Acts 2:42-47). The early church devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, fellowship, breaking of bread, and prayer. They gathered, shared, worshiped, served, and lived as a spiritual family. Their discipleship was never detached from real people and real relationships.
AI may help a pastor draft discussion questions, organize a reading plan, brainstorm sermon illustrations, summarize a resource or create follow-up prompts for leaders.
AI can support the process, but it cannot shepherd the person. The church is not a content platform. The church is a covenant of people.
The Baptist Faith and Message describes a New Testament church as a local congregation of baptized believers “associated by covenant in the faith and fellowship of the gospel.” Discipleship cannot be reduced to content delivery, even when the content is helpful.
AI may explain repentance, but it cannot model repentance. It may generate content, but it cannot carry a person toward Christ in accountable love. The church is people, and discipleship is personal.
Pastors and church leaders need to lean into what we have always been called to do: go and make disciples. That requires people, not computer code.
Don’t let artificial intimacy replace biblical community
A national survey from the Wheatley Institute found nearly 1 in 3 young adult men and nearly 1 in 4 young adult women have chatted with an AI-simulated romantic partner.
The Institute for Family Studies found 25 percemt of young adults under 40 believe AI girlfriends and boyfriends have the potential to replace real-life romantic relationships.
Compare that to 53 percent of adults under 30 who have used a dating app. AI companionship is not replacing dating apps yet, but it’s entering the same relational space young adults already navigate.
Churches should help young adults understand marriage as covenant, not merely companionship. AI may respond instantly, affirm constantly, and adapt to personal preference. But biblical marriage requires selfless love (John 13:34-35), holiness, mutual commitment, sacrifice, forgiveness, and faithfulness before God.
Young adults are not wrong for wanting connection, but they were made for more than simulated intimacy. Their fullness is in Christ, not code (Colossians 2:10). Friends are real people, not ones and zeros (Proverbs 17:17).
AI is new technology wrapped around old desires
Ecclesiastes 1:9 reminds us there is nothing new under the sun. AI did not invent pride, lust, laziness, deception, isolation, control or the desire to avoid accountability. But AI can accelerate those temptations, personalize them and make them easier to hide.
There’s nothing new under the sun, but the tools are moving fast. Young adults don’t need the church to fear every new tool. They need the church to help them follow Jesus with wisdom, integrity, and real relationships in a world full of artificial substitutes.
And according to Lifeway Research, the majority of younger churchgoers say they would welcome hearing a sermon that taught how biblical principles can be applied to AI. So how can churches respond without fear, shame, or silence?
5 ways churches can help young adults apply biblical principles to AI
1. Define AI clearly.
Teach what AI is and what it is not. It’s a tool, not a soul. It can assist, but it cannot replace wisdom, worship or community. Don’t ignore or shame the latest tool. Bring the gospel to bear on it.
2. Teach a theology of personhood.
Start with the image of God. Help young adults see why people matter more than performance, efficiency or artificial connection.
3. Disciple toward wise use, not fearful avoidance.
Give examples of helpful uses and harmful misuses. Help young adults discern when AI helps them steward life and when it forms unhealthy dependence.
4. Talk about AI companionship before it becomes a crisis.
Address AI girlfriends, AI boyfriends, AI dating and loneliness with compassion and clarity. Remind young adults they are complete in Christ, not code.
5. Build real relationships in the church.
Young adults don’t need another program first. They need a church where they’re noticed, named, known, loved, corrected, equipped and sent.
Like every new technology, AI may shape the future. But the church must keep forming people who follow Jesus in the present.
This article originally appeared at research.lifeway.com.
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